Finding comfort without losing your dignity.
When transitioning to in-home care, some things are to be ticked off the to-do list as practical necessities.
At some point or other, finding an aide may be one of them. There are some things about the home care adjustment that most people are afraid to share publicly. These are the things that are niggling at your brain and making you uncomfortable, ashamed, even afraid.
While home care agencies are available to help you find a safe companion, here are some of the worries out in the open, with advice on how to feel better about the home care transition you’re about to face.
The generation gap
“I could be your grandparent!”
Elderly demand a respect and often feel awkward having a young attendant assist them when they’re accustomed to doing things the other way around. Feeling at a loss can make seniors appear sad, uncooperative and disrespectful to their aides and the relationship can take off on a negative start.
To counter those feelings, always choose a caregiver you can respect. Respect works both ways and treating a caregiver properly will make him/ her want to do the very best to make sure you’re comfortable. It’s also important to tell yourself that nothing really changed in terms of your life experiences and self-respect. You just need help with tasks and your home care transition and it’s ok to ask for help.
It helps to know that in today’s fast-paced world, ¾ of Americans take help with homemaking, sitters and chores. Read more about how age has nothing do do with asking for help.
Just because you’re getting older, does not mean your life is a public affair. You may be afraid of losing your privacy when asking an aide to do daily hygiene tasks and accompany you to the bath or restroom. It’s frustrating to need to rely on others for basic things that used to be simple.
This is a concept that may be difficult for anyone. Focus on the ‘one day at a time’ method and tell yourself it’s short term. Recovering from surgery or another condition requires help by someone certified. Know that your companion is there to make you more comfortable, and if you’re not feeling comfortable you may be in need of a new caregiver.
Chances are you’ve always been the coper. Taking care of others made you feel good. It’s difficult to experience a role reversal, but it’s also a way to be on the receiving end. Feelings like incompetence may overwhelm you as you think back to more productive days.
The worst thing is to let negativity take over. It fosters depression and makes you resent your lifestyle. Instead, be in control of the roles. Even if your aide may do the tasks, you decide when, where and how. You are the one to decide where you’d like to shop or head out to. You choose what you like to eat and how you want to decorate your living area. By focusing on taking the lead, you can allow your caregiver to complete the tasks you want to be done.
Remember to be appreciative and never appear condescending.
Breaking the barrier.
Things may be hard at first. It’s that way with all new beginnings. Getting home from a hospital or rehab facility and making a home care transition may take its toll and change is not well received by everyone. You may be exceptionally tired from the change and not quite ready to meet that new someone that will enter your life.
At the point where you’re worried about the first impression, allow your feelings to sink in and validate each concern that you may have.
You’re probably tired and not ready for a change.
Get a good night’s rest, put on your best outfit and appear as in control as you may feel when you meet your caregiver in your home.
You don’t want to feel like a patient. Instead, you want to feel strong and able to make a best first impression. Follow Lauren Conrad’s first impression guide. Aides that meet patients in a needy state, adapt to being the caretaker as a result of a negative first impression.
You’re angry at your incompetence and choose to channel that anger into resentment and despair. You don’t engage in conversation and choose to stay home instead of venturing out. For you, feelings of being cared for seem to point in the direction of desperation.
It’s not quite that way at all. Your caregiver is just as worried as you about making a good first impression. He/ she didn’t choose to dominate your life. You chose to ask for help. Caregivers are the people that care enough to make you be their choice of a job. They care more about you than you may think. Allow yourself to engage in conversation, because this will help you assess if you’re happy with the aide you received. Think of it as an interview as you ease into life with a positive companion.
You’re worried about losing your self-respect and it’s simplest to back down and remain hostile. Respect is important to you and having someone in your home is the first step toward disrespect and discomfort.
The first two weeks are the key times to start a caregiver experience the right way. If you choose to respect yourself and respect the care which your aide is trying to offer, you will see the channel of communication be one of admiration and loyalty.
Caregivers want to give everything to the patients that make them feel special. Start your experience by choosing to make your caregiver feel respected and well liked. It always comes full circle and helps you gain trust in the person that can help you the most.
While you are older, wiser and a positive role model, it’s ok to ask for help.